Happy Easter

Happy Easter Today remember the sacrifice that Jesus was for us and that he did it only because he loved us so much.

Patience is Tough

I can't seem to quite understand what is going on inside my head. I want so many things and I just don't know how to do it all with out something falling through the cracks. But I want it all so badly I can't imagine letting anything go. My education is priority, but I fear the perfection that I seek I can't achieve. I don't want to disappoint anyone. How do you juggle everything? I guess you can't. Not with out someones help. I know I said in my first post I am a person that pretty much only cares about others, and that is true. But I also have a incredible hard time trusting anyone. My life was in such shambles for such a long time that the idea of instability scares me so badly. I watched the show "Once Upon a Time" today. That and laundry and the doctors office is all I have really done all day. I seem to loss myself in entertainment. I somehow seem to take on the emotion of the characters. I am really quite ridiculous. My friends make fun of me for it. They think it is funny that I get so enveloped in a story. I don't think it is that funny anymore. I hope that one day I will be strong enough to hold on to who I see I am. Right now everything feels so up in the air. Yes that might be because Easter is tomorrow and I'm still getting over pneumonia. I just hope everything works out. The one thing I noticed in Once Upon a Time today is that we cause so many of our own problems. If we would just let things be it would all work itself out, but we are too impatient. I pray that over me and you tonight. That we would learn the value and strength of patience and trust. Good night. time for this sick girl to get some sleep.

I am tempted to search on Google.com how to start a blog, but I just can't seem to bring myself to it. This blog is about me and my thoughts and feelings. it would seem that that would be a no brainer, but I live my life revolved around other people. I feel quite selfish dedicating this to myself, but I think this could be fun. I have tried this before but I wasn't very regular with my post. Sorry if that happens again. I'm writing this like someone is reading it. I'm not sure why. I have a feeling this is going to turn out a lot more like a diary. So if you are reading this your part in this little play is the diary. I hope you enjoy and have good facial expression because I hate to in form you... i don't think you have any lines. If it is a big problem, I can probably talk to the writer. wow look at me i'm making jokes to my computer. Well anyway back to something. though I don't remember what I was gonna say. oh well 
A little bit about me, so you can understand why I might think some of the things I do. I grew up in a beautiful little town in Nebraska and had a pony named Penny...just kidding... I really grew up in North Carolina. Since I was 3 I have been doing the balencing act between split parents, school, friends, the whole sha-bang. Well the way it has ended up is I kind of have always just had two lives one at my Dad's and one at my Mom's. But not that I'm on my own I'm trying to figure out what it means to just have one. This is turning out to be harder that I thought. I guess this is where you come  in. I needed a place to put down my thoughts. I needed something for when my friends were busy, so I picked my computer. Safe right. Can't run, can't talk back, and always there. It seems so sad to me that I have turned to a computer, but it will be so amazing. It only takes from me when I'm willing to give. It can't disappoint me by not being there when I need it. Its the perfect listener. so the only question I am left with is am I ready to talk...?